Changing perceptions of a sinner

Just the other day, in the midst of housework, I decided to listen to an old favourite CD from my teens – Firehouse’s “Good Acoustics”. I loved that CD so much I remember writing an essay for my mid-year English exam justifying why “I live my live for you” is the best song ever. (Not that this matters, but I got second highest in class for that essay. :P )

It’s funny how different things are ten years on. One of the songs on the CD is titled “Love Don’t Care”. When I was in my mid-teens, I never thought about song lyrics or what they meant. I simply enjoyed the songs as is. The lyrics to this song struck me in a whole new light as I listened to it again, this time in my mid-20s.

The argument running through the song was that love don’t care who you love, so long as it feels right and makes you happy and if you don’t hurt anyone in the process of loving someone. (I’ve copied and pasted the song lyrics at the end of this post for reference).

I agree yet disagree with the song. Allow me to explain.

Yes, I think love, in the context of friendship, shouldn’t care about race, colour, status, background, gender or any other factor that would differentiate us as humans. Humanity consists of a kaleidoscope of people, we are all different, but yet all so human.

However, love, in the context of marriage and boyfriend/girlfriend relationships are different. The two things that should separate people in this context are gender and religion. I believe there are absolutes in this world. There is absolute right and absolute wrong. There is an absolute God.

This absolute God states out very clearly in His Word – the Bible – that homosexuality is wrong. He also says that if you call him God and Lord, you ought to only marry (and by implication therefore, date) a person (of the opposite sex) who also calls this absolute God, Lord.

My opinions may be considered archaic, conservative and discriminatory in today’s postmodern society. Regardless, I stand my ground. According to the Bible, same sex relationships are wrong and Christians shouldn’t marry (and date) non-Christians.

Lest I get abused for my views, allow me to take my argument to another level.

I have gay friends. I also have friends who are in ‘inter-religious’ relationships. At no point would I ever Bible-bash my friends into accepting and adopting my opinion. These are my views that I subscribe to because I strive to live in obedience to what God says in the Bible. It would be unreasonable on my part to expect anyone to follow what the Bible says if God isn’t their God. A person can only live by what they believe to be true.

I would never stop loving my gay friends or my ‘inter-religious’ relationship friends. I may not always agree with what they do, but I hope friendship will always prevail. At no point would I judge my friends for their actions. If one understands the Christian message, one would know we’re all equally undeserving sinners, saved by grace.

My loving prayer for all my non-Christian friends and family, gay, straight or bisexual, is that one day they may come to know Christ and make an active choice to follow Him. But until that day happens, God willing, if it ever does, I cannot and will not expect that they live as I do. That wouldn’t be fair to them.

Isn’t it funny? As a 15 year old I’d never thought I’d string such an argument about a silly song ten years on. My, how things have changed!!



Firehouse - Love Don’t Care

Little girl, face all black and blue
But she knows better
That's not the way a man should treat you
But that's ok, she'll change her life tonight
She's leaving him
For a woman who will treat her right

And everybody needs somebody
She could be with anybody
Doesn't matter if it's not another man

Chorus:
Because love don't care who you love
I said love don't care who you love
If you ain't hurting anybody
And if you feel it deep inside
Then love don't care who you love
Don't care who you love

Little girl, she's no sister, she is white
But she loves a brother
Takin' him home to meet her folks tonight
Mom and dad don't understand
We're all the same inside
They just don't realize
That love is always colorblind

And everybody needs somebody
You can be with anybody
It's not the color that makes the man

Because love don't care who you love
I said love don't care who you love
Don't let anybody tell you
That it's wrong if it feels right
'Cuz love don't care who you love
Love don't care

And everybody needs somebody
You can be with anybody
So love someone who makes you happy

Struggles of a sinner

The world doesn't revolve around me.
I'd like to think it does.
But I know it doesn't.

All the turmoil in the world.
All the destruction.
All the unrest.

Why am I spared?
Why am I happy?

When others feel like they have no hope.

Why all the injustice?

I feel guilty for all I have.
Yet I know that it's not my fault.
Should I deny myself pleasure because others are suffering?
I hope to never take what I have for granted.
Never.

I'm grateful. Thankful. Overwhelmed.

I hope to cling to what's important.

One day I'll go home and be with my Saviour. But for now I'm happy this side of heaven. It's not always easy, but for the most part, God has been good.

People need the Lord.
People need the Lord.

I am blessed.

I am blessed to be alive.
To wake up each morning to a brand new day.

I am blessed to have parents.
Parents who love me unconditionally.
Who are unwavering in their support of my endless endeavours.

I am blessed for all the material comfort I have.
Every. Material. Comfort.

I am blessed with friends.
Friends who love and care for me.
Friends who share their lives with me

I am blessed with an education.
One that equips me for gainful employment.

I am blessed to experience Autumn in Sydney.
When leaves on trees turn brown.
When everything has a tinge of red and orange.

I am blessed with so many things I don't deserve.

Most of all,

I am blessed with Jesus' death and resurrection.

I am blessed with eternal life.

I am blessed by God.

I am blessed with so many things I don't deserve.

Looking forward to death??

It’s been awhile since I last blogged. Blogging is a commitment. It’s that active choice to force yourself to sit down, to be with your thoughts, and write something coherent and interesting enough that people would want to read it. So here I am, trying to resume my habit of writing. Well, I never really stopped writing, I’ve always had my diary, but “public” writing and “private” writing are two very different things.

Something struck me and I think it’s worth recounting here. Rob Smith spoke in church on Sunday and his sermon was titled “The Two Eternal Destinies”. I was incredibly encouraged by the sermon because it was a great reminder of the reality of heaven and hell.

As a Christian, I do believe that heaven and hell exist. I also believe what is told to me in the Bible - that people who believe in Jesus will go to heaven and people who don’t will go to hell. It’s a hard message to swallow, but it also very liberating.

The assurance of heaven gives me the freedom to live my life without fear of death and it gives me great joy and hope to know that upon death, I’m going to a far better place than I can imagine. This may sound silly but I’m going to say it anyway. Despite being incredibly happy and content with my life at the moment [and having no plans to die any time soon (haha)], I’m even more excited about the prospect of one day dying and going to heaven, where I will see my maker and my Lord. :)

It’s funny, hey? I’ve been back in Sydney for over 2 weeks now and of all the things I could have updated on my blog I’ve chosen to talk about death. There have been some significant moments in my life where I’ve yearned for death because “life sucks” or “the world is a crappy place” or “there isn’t anything worth living for” or “I just don’t want to be a part of the world anymore’. But things have changed. I love life now because there is much to offer. I do believe God has a purpose for me, and for everyone else, while we’re on this earth. And while I eagerly wait to go to heaven, I’m also happy to live my life to the fullest in the ‘now but not yet’.

To my friends, if you’re reading this, I hope you take the time to think about life (and the after life) and explore what Christianity has to offer. :)

I miss Singapore (-an food, haha) and I really, really miss my friends and family back home. If you’re reading this, do keep in touch and know that you’re in my thoughts. I’ve finally gotten a Facebook account so that’s another avenue to keep in touch!

Snowboarding vs. Wakeboarding, a lesson in perseverance

This weekend I had the privilege of road tripping-ish down to Jindabyne, 6 hours out of Sydney, to snowboard! YAY! Went with Chooi (her name is pronounced CHEWY haha, and you thought my name was, ehem, unusual) my favourite Malaysian Aussie and Paul, the dead-pan Brazillian dude from me church, and a bunch of Chooi's other friends.

Snowboarding was good fun. The resort was decent, not as pretty as Lake Tahoe in the States (where I went with Cari coupla years ago) but the snow was better. The views were much better in Tahoe than Jindabyne, I felt, but then again, Australia is a different country with its own unique landscape. Didn't take a single picture at Jindabyne, much as I love pictures, as I didn't want to carry my camera around while snowboarding. Paul took some pictures but I'm too lazy to get them from him haha.

Snowboarding is physically exhausting!! I kid you not!! Especially if you're as unfit and inflexible as I am!! After two days of boarding I feel like I've been stuffed in a human sized washing machine, cold washed, spun round, yanked out and wrung dry. Can't remember the last time I was physically this spent.

If I were to choose between snowboarding and wakeboarding, at this point, I'd pick wakeboarding. Probably because I'm better at it. But also because you feel more in control as you have the handle bar to hold on to and a lot of the hard work is done by the boat.

Snowboarding/skiing's a chore as you have to painstakingly line up for the ski lift, dangerously manoeuvre yourself off the ski lift trying not to fall, will your body and board to glide to a suitable start off point, plonk yourself on the snow to secure your free boot to the board, maintain your balance while trying to stand, "bounce" the board forward to pick up speed, then, and only then, are you able to snowboard down the slope. And if, you're on a beginner slope, like I was, the run will be annoyingly short. Before you know it, you'd be at the bottom of the slope, done with the run, having to start the arduous process all over again. Once I got better at it I tried to maximize my run by moving to the far left and far right of the slope (as opposed to going straight down) just so I could stay on the run a little longer. Heh. Clever eh? :P

Of course, when you do that, you don't go as fast, but you fall less too me thinks.

By the end of the first day I was utterly pushed to my physical limit. On the second day, I had to force myself to stop boarding at midday, though my mind and will were rearing to go on. My left hand was getting a tad mangled from falling heavily on it and preserving my left hand is rather important. Heh. Can't play me piano without a left hand. Can't do a whole lot of other stuff either.

Next season, if I get the chance to go again, I'm going to train before going. Haha. How I do not know, but some form of physical endurance just to last a bit longer in the snow. That way I can board for a few more days and perhaps master some tricks. Haha.

Now though, is the time for me to gingerly tuck my maimed body into bed, content with the two days I had in the snow and grateful to God for the chance to enjoy his creation.

O what a holiday!!

Allow me to apologise for not updating my blog the past few weeks. I was on (a much deserved, heh) holiday in New Zealand for three weeks. In case you were wondering, I had a FANTASTIC time. YAY! :) Here's the low-down on my trip. I'm doing this more for my sake to preserve my memories of the holiday. But I'm sure some of you would enjoy the pictures nonetheless.

Here goes!

Muriwai Beach. Enjoying the scenery and catching up!



Hanging out at Jackson's place making Bachang!



Tramping with Julz. Heh. Check out his pippy long stockings outfit!



The boys posing



The ARPC (+1) reunion church band. We played/sang on a Sunday service at Elliot's dad's church.



Driving down towards Wellington with Elliot's CF friends. That's us with (sa)RAH and Jack\



Driving off into the mountains. Check out the gorgeous mountains!



Hanging out with the girls at TSCF conference. Praise God for the wonderful time we had with other Christians from all over NZ. There's Annabe, Nicole, Felicity, Peta-Marie and Ana!











Huka Falls. Spent two days with CFers at Lake Taupo where they had wonderful hot springs! Just what we needed as the weather was ccooollldddd..



Kate posing to look like the bear on the poster on the wall. Heh.



I've saved the most special for last. The Shudalls. Thank God for their hospitality. Thanks guys :) Thanks Ines for cleaning up after me.. It was a pleasure spending time with you and getting to know you better. Till we meet again....



Thank God for the chance to go to NZ. Thank God for time spent together and many precious memories. Happy thoughts will fill my mind for a while yet. :)

Its just a rock you goose!!

Yesterday I watched Blood Diamond starring Leo Di and Jennifer Connelly. I must say Leo Di is a good actor. I was rather impressed.

The movie made me think about the diamond trade. For those who haven't watched it, its basically about how rebels in Sierra Leone violently exploit poor villagers to mine diamonds, only to smuggle them to Liberia in exchange for huge sums of money to fund their rebel cause. The movie portrayed the violent fighting between government forces and rebel groups and highlighted the atrocities carried out by the rebel groups - recruiting child soliders, raping women and girls, chopping off hands...

At one point in the movie Leo Di remarks "sometimes I wonder if God will ever forgive us for what we have done to each other. Then I look around [the continent Africa] and realise God left this place long ago".

Africa is a continent plagued with problems. Genocide in Rwanda, civil war in Darfur, major unrest in Somalia, where they haven't had a government for the past 16 years, child soldiers, female genital mutilation, famine, drought, the list goes on... Its not hard to question the existence of God when you look at the horror that goes on in Africa.

It seems like a lame response to argue that God DOES exist and God DOES care even though it doesn't seem like it and he IS in control even when things go wrong. God is God and he know's what he's doing. He is sovereign over everything that happens in the world, and I know this to be true because of what he tells us in his Word. It's a circular argument isn't it. How do we know God is true? Because he says so. How do we know that what he says is true? Because he is God.

I don't know how else to put it and I don't know how to convince anyone else to believe what I know to be true. God's sovereignty is one of the hardest concepts for me to explain and understand.

That aside, the one major thing that the movie made me determined to do is to not ever buy diamonds again. Never ever!

I'm saying this for all to read. I don't ever want to buy diamonds. My parents have bought me a diamond ring, I've bought myself a (VERY small) diamond, and an ex boyfriend has bought me diamonds. All that's done and that chapter of my life is closed. No more diamonds for me. Even if they're from conflict free zones.

I don't want to own something so "precious" if its caused so much suffering for others around the world. I don't want to be a consumer to add to the demand of such a "precious" commodity. I don't need it.

We're all going to die. "Diamonded" or "diamondless".

God promises us treasures in heaven that will never be destroyed if we serve him all our days. That's more precious to me than any diamond I could own. (Matt 6:19,20)

I wonder how many people I can convince to not buy diamonds.

Some lovely people from church!

There are so many things I want to share with my friends back home about my life here. So many experiences and stories and "life" in general that I wish everyone back home could be a part of. I feel like I've lived in two "worlds". Now I'm so happy and comfortable in Sydney that I can truly call it home. When I go back to Singapore during my summer holidays I'll be going home. But yet, I'll be missing my other (newer) home and the people and friends I have here. Praise God for how I've adapted and assimilate so well! :)

Last week Jess, Helen and myself went to morning service at St Andrew's Cathedral to experience a high order Anglican service. It was AWESOME. The speaker Phillip Jensen was great (he ususally is) but the whole experience of the service was enjoyable too. It was a Holy Communion service so it was full of rituals. We had to read from the liturgy book (I think that's what its called) and there were cute choir boys wearing robes haha! Their voices hadn't broken yet, so they could reach higher notes than I can (haha) and and and, instead of having a band they use the organ for accompaniment. Like not the organs we have in Singapore but the huge church type pipe organs that make "Phantom of the Opera" sounds. It was cool!

I can see why some people enjoy going to such services cos it feels very "holy" and going through the rituals make you feel like you're "getting closer to God". But of course, its none of that which saves us and nothing that we've done that makes us right with God. Thank God Jesus did all that for us!

But anyways, the service was such a delight that we're going to go one a month just for fun. Haha.

To add to my already joyous Sunday, we (Jess, Helen and Daniel) went for CHINESE lunch after church! I had CHICKEN RICE!! YAY! And if that wasn't enough we three girls went factory outlet shopping after that just before we went to regular TBT church. Life doesn't get any better than that does it? haha.

(Its easy to forget that I'm actually a full time post grad student. Heh. I'm not actually doing much work. But I'm passing so THERE!!)

Yesterday I hung out with Chew Chern. We cuddled up (not, you know, each other) on the sofa and watched Dreamgirls. Then we had fried eggs for supper. haha. Simple things please simple minds. :)

I'm so thankful there are snippets, or rather, huge chunks of joy, in my life to keep me going. The week that just ended was an emotionally difficult week for various reasons, but we should always count it pure joy when we face trials of many kinds for the testing of our faith produces perseverence. And that is good so that we may be perfect and lacking nothing when Jesus comes again! YAY!

I shall end this posting with pictures!!



Jess and myself waiting outside church for Helen to come. It was a lovely sunny day!



Helen and myself at the chinese restaurant. We're going to go dragon boating in a few weeks hopefully!



Dan and Jess and the chinese restaurant. Kudos to Dan for being adventurous enough to eat pig innards during lunch! haha



Jess looking wierd on the bus on the way to shopping. haha. DUH!



Shumin and myself!! Its such a pleasure to see people from home. Especially when they've brought stuff for you haha. Thanks Kev and Cari for the gift. And thanks mom for the bedsheets and clothes!!!

A series of firsts...

I've been told I need to update my blog more regularly. Apparantly once in 2 weeks isn't enough. Some people are just so demanding.. Heehee :P

The reasons why I don't update as regularly is:
1. I'm rather busy (yes, really, I am)
2. I like to write "quality" blogs (though that is subjective haha) and inspiration takes time. Heh.
3. Blogging is a joy when its not about frivolous topics and done only periodically. Seriously, do you want to know what I have for lunch everyday?

But anyway, here I am, detailing the going ons of my eventful life in Sydney.

So here goes.

The past few weeks have been a series of firsts. In no order of merit or chronology:

1. I drove an expecting mother (Deb) to the hospital for her delivery. Early on Sunday morning my telephone rang, waking me up. I thought to myself, which idio* calls so blo*dy early on a Sunday morning???

Sarah (In a disgruntled voice): Hello?

Caller (In a lot of pain): Hi Sarah

Sarah (Not knowing who the caller was): Er, yah?

Caller (In MORE pain): Hey, Deb here. Can you come over now please. I'm in a lot of pain. I think its labour.

Sarah: OH CRAP!! (Actually I used more explicit language but "oh crap" will do for now) Alright coming over now!!

Rushed to their house, without breakfast, make up or wash up. (I only changed out of my PJs and brushed my teeth) Drove them to the hospital.


2. Saw a half hour old baby for the first time in my life.

While Denesh and Deborah were in the delivery room delivering Elijah, I was occupying Ethan on the hospital grounds. We read stories, pretended to be horses, ran in the park, watched kids play soccer and walked up and down the carpark slope (at one point Ethan asked me to sing him the Liverpool song, which I don't know. Haha trust Denesh to teach his son such things heh). Denesh called and both of us (Ethan and myself) ran to the delivery room to see baby Elijah!! Yay!!


3. Went to work for the first time in Sydney.

I FINALLY got my work visa. So on Monday I spent 8 hours in a childcare centre changing nappys and putting babies to sleep. By the fourth soiled nappy I was seriously reconsidering having kids.


4. Cooked "Ba Ku Teh" with Deb.

Actually, Deb cooked the ba ku teh. I was just there to eat. haha. We both owe much to April for graciously sending me yummy Ba Ku Teh spices all the way from Singapore!!! THANK YOU APRIL!!!! :)


5. Study the bible with such a diverse group of people.

My Bible Study group at church comprises Naomi, Laetitia, Tim, Graeme, Michael and Trevor. We range in age from 24 (me) to 60+(I'm guessing). We've got an accountant, airplane repair mechanic, retiree, IT person and a Milkman. How cool is that? We're all so different and the only thing to bind us together is our love for God. Praise God for his family!


6. Playing for my church music team.

This Sunday will be my first time playing the piano for church! Yay! Thank God for the opportunity to serve.

That's pretty much my past few weeks in a nutshell. God has been so good too me. I'm really very thankful. There are days where I feel emotionally very drained and tired, as is the case for everyone at every point in life, but on the whole I'm really very happy and content with life here. God is good, all the time! :)

I shall end my posting with some random pictures.




Standing: Michael, Sarah, Naomi
Sitting: Laetitia, Trevor, Tim and Graeme




Ethan posing with his gingerbread man




Deb and I posing with the "Ba Ku Tek" packet!!

Some random pictures as promised!!

This is the view at Katoomba (aka, the Blue Mountains), where I went for the Easter Convention. Vast, beautiful mountains eh!


This is Naomi, my friend from church, and her mom and me in Katoomba.


I went for a beach walk with some chicks from church. The beach walks are gorgeous and oh so romantic!! :)


Heehee, this is me, at the beach walk, trying to pull off a hercules! Oh Ruth (Wok) look at my shoes!! Tell Lynn (Ho) that I'm wearing the shoes she gave me hahaha!!!


This is the view of the Sydney CBD from the park where I sit to reflect and do my QT. It was quite a hazy day.


This is the prawn noodles I cooked!! Looks pretty good eh? I was missing the Adam Road Prawn Mee badly, and came up with my own rendition. It was a decent first effort, but not quite Adam Road standard (yet).. :(


Isn't he a darling?? This is Ethan (Divyanathan). He's SUCH a cutie!! This was him in the car when I was trying to get him to smile properly for the camera. haha. HE'S SO CUTE!!! He's extemely chatty and hyper most of the time too. CUTIE!!


I've left my favourite for the last.. :) Aww.. look at them.. Aren't they adorable? haha