What not to say to a teacher...

“What do you do for work?”

“I’m a teacher.”

“Oh cool. Work shouldn’t be too hard then, you get all those holidays!”

I swear I’ll punch the next person who says that to me.

The greatest misconception anyone could have about teaching is the alleged luxury of our ‘numerous’ holidays. For anyone wondering about the life of a teacher, I hope this post is insightful.

6:15am
Alarm goes off. Begrudgingly roll out of bed, stumble into the shower, get dressed.

6:55am
Prepare breakfast in the kitchen. Rolled oats cooked over the stovetop.
While the stove is going, scamper around the kitchen packing lunch, usually leftovers from the night before.

7:05am
Carry breakfast and packed lunch up to my room. While having breakfast, potter around the room, making my bed, tidying up, putting on make up, getting my things together for work.

7:25am
Leave for work.

8:00am
Arrive at work.

Get ready for the day. Make copies of worksheets for students. Ideally, there should be a five to one ratio of teachers to photocopiers. In reality, it’s 14 to one. As Murphy’s Law would have it, just as I’m about to make copies, someone else will beat me to it. I end up waiting.

While waiting, I start admin work. Key in marks of tests, type up incident reports, keep accurate records of warning letters sent off to students, make sure my rolls are in order, sign off on topics that I’ve covered in class etc…

While doing admin, my Head of Department comes up to me.
“Sarah, remember that HSC folder I gave you? Is all the paper work in order? Do you have a minute? Lets go through it now.”

8:35am
Finally get to the copier. Start making copies. Half way through, paper runs out. Sprint to the front office, lug up a box of copy paper. Refill copier. Start getting anxious because class is about to start and my worksheets still aren’t in order.

Check watch, 25 minutes till the bell goes.

Perfect.

Enough time to mark those Geography tests.

9:00am
Bell rings.

Run to the English/Science staffroom which is at the other end of the school. Get my roll. Run to my roll call room.

By this time, the school is bustling with activity. There is a mass of students and teachers I have to weave through to get to where I need to go. Couples are hugging/kissing along the corridor. Students are sitting on the floor stretching their legs across the corridor. I carefully watch where I step, lest I trip on their outstretched legs. Boys are goofing around along the corridor, punching, kicking, flicking rubberbands at each other. Girls are huddling in their little cliques, catching up on gossip, complimenting each other on their makeup, newly dyed/straightened hair

“All of you, get to your roll call class now!”

“Yeah, Miss.”
Eyes rolled at me.

9:10am
Period One
Year 8 Geography
30 students - 23 boys, 7 girls

Students start streaming into class.

Student 1, “Miss, how was your weekend? Whaddya get up to?”

I ignore him.

Student 2, “G’day Miss! I forgot to bring my book today.”

Student 3 walks in drinking a bottle of juice.
“Emily, you know the school rules, you’re not allowed to drink that in class. Put it away.”

“Jordan, if you bounce that basketball one more time, I’m going to take it away.”

“James, I don’t want to see your iPod. Put it away now.”

10 minutes later…

I FINALLY manage to get them to settle down.

“All of you take a seat! Get your books out, get a pen out.”

While I’m giving instructions, I’m setting up the overhead projector with some notes for them to copy.

“I want all of you to get your pens out and start writing about East Timor. We’re comparing their education system with Australia.”

Student 4, “Miss I don’t have a pen.”
I take a pen from my pencil case, give it to him.

“Like I said, I want all of you to get your pens out and start writing about East Timor. We’re comparing their education system with Australia.”

Student 5 calls out, “Miss, why do we have to learn about East Timor? Why do I have to write about them? But I don’t want to learn about them!”

Student 6, “Miss, I don’t have a pen.”
I take a pen from my pencil case, give it to him.

Meanwhile, two boys at the back Jake and Sam start mucking around. They flick each other, shove and try to push each other off their chairs.

“Jake and Sam. I’m watching you. Stop what you’re doing. Take your books out. Take your pens out. Start writing.”

Student Sam, “Miss, I don’t have a pen. So I can’t write.”
I roll my eyes. Take a pen from my pencil case, give it to him.

Student 7, “Miss, what’s the date today?”

Student 8, “Miss, I don’t have a pen.”
I take a pen from my pencil case, give it to him.

It’s 9:30 and I still haven’t managed to teach anything. I sigh quietly to myself.

Eventually, the students slowly settle down, they copy what’s on the board, I explain a little about ‘Global Inequalities’. I talk about the difference in quality of life in a country like Australia and East Timor.

They work well for 5 minutes. Then the chatter starts again.

Cheeky student 9 asks, with a twinkle in his eye, “Miss, can I ask you a personal question?”

“No, you can’t.”

“I’m going to ask you any way. Miss, are you a virgin?”

The whole class bursts into laughter.

I roll my eyes, maintain a straight face and ignore him.

“Class, we are learning about Global Inequalities and doing a case study on East Timor. We are going to have a test in two weeks. I want to you study your notes.”

The lesson bumbles on.

10 minutes before the bell goes, at 9:50, I give out my reward stickers.

“Alright class, most of you are working well, I’m going to give out a sticker to the best student today.”

(I try to use a lot of positive encouragement and reinforcement in my class. I have a sticker chart at the front of the class. Student names are written on a big piece of cardboard. Stickers are stuck next to their name.)

Student 9, ”Miss, I think I deserve a sticker. I worked so well today!”
Student 10, “Oh Miss, I only have one sticker, I think I need one more.”
Student 11, “Miss, it’s not fair, I only have one sticker and Olivia has two. But I work so much better than her.”

This goes on for about 5 minutes.

“Okay class, I’ve decided. The student who deserves a sticker for his work today is……”
I drag the suspense to play it up. (Teaching involves a lot of clowning around.)

Student 12, “Me, Miss! Pick me!”
Student 13, “No way, look at how much better my work is than yours! You suck. Miss, pick me! Pick me!”

“Now the sticker goes to…. SPENCER!”

All the boys, “OHHHH, SPENCER. Spencer got a sticker, Spencer got a sticker.”
The banter carries on till the bell goes.

Bell goes. Students stream out of class.

I think to myself, first period over. Five more to go.

10am
Period two.

The day rolls along much like the first period. Some classes are better than others. In some classes, all the work gets done. In some, nothing much gets done. I do my best. I pat myself on the back for a good lesson, I don’t beat myself up over ‘bad’ lesson. That’s teaching. There are good days. There are bad days.

The thing I love about teaching is that it involves many skills. Your primary aim is to learn the subject matter, you need to come up with ideas on how to teach it - worksheets, questions, group work, games, powerpoint presentations. Equally important is to develop good people skills, relate well to students of all ages, work well with your colleagues, deal with the frustrations of bureaucracy. Teaching is essentially relational in nature. It’s all about relating well to people, be they your students or your colleagues.

Teaching is dynamic, it is diverse, it is multi-skilled. There is nothing quite like it.

I’m so glad I love what I do. It makes life a lot easier. But so help me God, if one more person says to me “Oh, you must enjoy all those holidays!” I swear, with what little strength my slight figure might have, I will kick that person squarely in their shins.