Friday, July 24, 2009

Sticking out like a sore thumb

I recently read an article on polyamorists in the Sunday Age Magazine (Melbourne’s Sunday newspaper). Polyamorwhat? you say. Polyamory. The word comes from the Greek and Latin words poly and amor, which translates into “many loves”. Polyamory is basically having emotionally intimate and loving relationships with more than one person at a time with the consent of everyone involved.

The article included an interview with the actress Tilda Swinton (the White Witch in The Lion the King and the Wardrobe). Swinton talked about the polyamourous relationships she shares with her long time partner, and father of her twin kids, John Byrne and Sandro Kopp, a 30-year-old German-born New Zealander she met while filming Narnia.

I quote from the article, “The arrangement,” Swindon says, “is just so sane. John and I live here (in Scotland) with our children, and Sandro is sometimes here with us, and we travel the world together. We are all a family.” She goes on to say, “it may seem odd, but it certainly is the best thing for the children… It is a situation I find very healthy. I can maintain my life with my children and their father, and spend time with the man I’ve become very fond of. There has been a lot of understanding by the men.”

Several other polyamorous couples were interviewed in the article. One of them says, “Having several intimate relationships has benefits. There is a degree of love, care and connectedness in polyamorous relationships that I have never found in monogamous relationships.”

Another polyamorist is quoted as saying, “being poly relieves you of the crushing burden of having to be everything to somebody. You can be yourself and your partners can be themselves, and nobody has to try to be everything to everybody or worry about being traded in for someone better.”

Reading this article was yet another reminder of how different the world’s views and lifestyle choices are from the ones that I’ve formed from being a Christian. I’ve said this before and I’ll say it again. I cannot expect everyone to live the way I do because not everyone shares the framework of the Gospel that I have. Until my friends and family become Christians, there is no reason to expect or demand that they live by godly, Biblical principles.

I’ve had many reminders of how different my views are to the world this term at school. I’ve had the privilege of teaching Legal Studies to year 11 and year 12 students (16 to18-year-olds). One of the major topics we look at is Family Law. In it, we explore the different types of family arrangements under Australian Law (and let me tell you, compared to Singapore, there are many!). There’s de facto (which is essentially a ‘partnership’), blended, single-parent, indigenous, same-sex and of course, your traditional married husband and wife team. We also study laws relating to abortion, contraception, the legal age of consent and various other rights of a child. I’ve had many an interesting conversation with my students.

Jenny, a year 12 student in my Legal Studies class, interrupted class one day and randomly asked me, “Miss, is the Pill the best form of protection?”

I replied, “Well, the Pill would help in preventing unwanted pregnancies, but you’d probably want to use a condom too, cause that would protect you against STDs.”

Another student said, “Yeah, using the Pill together with a condom would be the best.”

Then I said, “Well, if you really want 100% certainty then I’d recommend abstinence.”

The entire class burst out laughing.

“MISS!!!” Jenny exclaimed, her eyes wide open in disbelief, “that’s SO old fashioned. No one practices that anymore!!”

To which I asked, “do they teach abstinence as a method of contraception in your P.E/Health Science classes?”

“No. Not at all Miss. They pretty much give us a condom and a banana and say ‘here, practice putting it on.”

Now I know the realities of this world and I know the struggles of sexual purity. I don’t expect these days that people will ‘wait’ till they get married. But for seventeen year olds to be sexually active?!! I work day in day out with teenagers and I know what they’re like. At seventeen, even eighteen, they’re not mature enough to deal with the emotional, physical and mental consequences of a sexual relationship. They’ll think they are, and they’ll argue that they are, but in reality, I’m not sure they’re ready.

It’s been almost 5 years since I made a conscious decision to follow Christ. Yes, I did grow up in a Christian home with a knowledge of God and Jesus and the Gospel. But it was only in my early 20s when I made the commitment to live as a Christian. Since then, so much has changed. My outlook on life is different, the way I choose to spend my time and money is different, the way I react to blessings (and sufferings) is different, the way I choose to indulge (or rather, not indulge) in alternative relationships or physically gratifying relationships is different. I’m a Christian now, and the Gospel has given me the framework to live my life.

I pray for the Tilda Swintons and Jennys around me. I don’t judge them and I don’t want to change them for the sake of change itself. If it weren’t for Christ, I’d live my life in exactly the same way as my dear friends. I want them to know the God I’ve come to know and love and the Gospel he has made so available to us. I want them to experience the peace and joy that comes from knowing Him.

Yes, the Christian life can be an uphill climb sometimes. But from personal experience it’s the only, if not the best, way to live.

Monday, April 27, 2009

Oh what a holiday!

The past two weeks have been one of the most enjoyable holidays I’ve had. It was well deserved after Term 1 at school and it was extra special because my folks and Uncle William and Aunty Esther came to Sydney to visit me. ☺ Tomorrow I go back to work. But before I go back, I want to record every memory of the holiday so that I can relive the joy when the going gets tough. (And boy, do I know that it will!)

In some sort of chronology:

1. Went to Seafood by the Bay at Blackwattle Bay for graduation dinner. Ames joined us and we had a wonderful time. Fresh oysters, white wine, fish, chocolate pudding… DELICIOUS!!

2. Drove to the Hunter Valley, stayed on a farm. Had farm fresh eggs (like literally, fresh from the chicken) for brekkie every day. DELICIOUS!!

3. Rode in a hot air balloon on Easter Sunday. Got up at 4 in the morning, drove to the paddock, watched as they set up the balloon, was in the balloon by 6 and took off as the sun was rising. It was absolutely gorgeous! Marveled at God’s creation.

4. Jason Mraz concert. Jason. Mraz. Live. In. Concert. Need I say any more?? He was amazing!!! Absolutely blew me away. I can’t ever listen to his CDs again because it just wouldn’t measure up to him live. Jamie Cullum, Jason Mraz and Coldplay. The best concerts I’ve been to of all time.

5. Did some painting. The walls in the house got a little bare when Mandy moved out (she took her pictures with her) so I decided to tap into my creative side and pretty the walls up with my paintings.

This is ‘A Platypus: Indigenous Australian Art as interpreted by a Singaporean’



This is ‘I was lazy, so I painted daisies’



6. Went to Guys and Dolls the musical. Brilliant. Very entertaining, good acting, good stage production.

7. Went to the NRL game on ANZAC day. Thought it might be good ‘Australian’ experience. Thoroughly enjoyed it. The Roosters got flogged but still, the atmosphere was exhilarating.

8. In between all the above, caught up with friends here and there, which was great. Didn’t have much time to catch up with people during school term.

Tomorrow I’m going back to work for Term 2. It’s another 11 week term, so I’m bracing myself for the long haul. My goals for improvement this term:

1. Establish a solid homework routine for my Year 11 and 12 Legal Studies class.
2. Give out more detentions. Not because I’m sadistic, but to use it as an effective tool for managing my classes.
3. Establish a proper seating plan for that Year 10 class. Something tells me a seating plan wouldn’t work because the students will still yell over each other. But, I’ll try anyway.

Term 2, here I come!!

My holiday plans for after Term 2?

My flight to Melbourne is already booked. :P

Tuesday, April 21, 2009

What not to say to a teacher...

“What do you do for work?”

“I’m a teacher.”

“Oh cool. Work shouldn’t be too hard then, you get all those holidays!”

I swear I’ll punch the next person who says that to me.

The greatest misconception anyone could have about teaching is the alleged luxury of our ‘numerous’ holidays. For anyone wondering about the life of a teacher, I hope this post is insightful.

6:15am
Alarm goes off. Begrudgingly roll out of bed, stumble into the shower, get dressed.

6:55am
Prepare breakfast in the kitchen. Rolled oats cooked over the stovetop.
While the stove is going, scamper around the kitchen packing lunch, usually leftovers from the night before.

7:05am
Carry breakfast and packed lunch up to my room. While having breakfast, potter around the room, making my bed, tidying up, putting on make up, getting my things together for work.

7:25am
Leave for work.

8:00am
Arrive at work.

Get ready for the day. Make copies of worksheets for students. Ideally, there should be a five to one ratio of teachers to photocopiers. In reality, it’s 14 to one. As Murphy’s Law would have it, just as I’m about to make copies, someone else will beat me to it. I end up waiting.

While waiting, I start admin work. Key in marks of tests, type up incident reports, keep accurate records of warning letters sent off to students, make sure my rolls are in order, sign off on topics that I’ve covered in class etc…

While doing admin, my Head of Department comes up to me.
“Sarah, remember that HSC folder I gave you? Is all the paper work in order? Do you have a minute? Lets go through it now.”

8:35am
Finally get to the copier. Start making copies. Half way through, paper runs out. Sprint to the front office, lug up a box of copy paper. Refill copier. Start getting anxious because class is about to start and my worksheets still aren’t in order.

Check watch, 25 minutes till the bell goes.

Perfect.

Enough time to mark those Geography tests.

9:00am
Bell rings.

Run to the English/Science staffroom which is at the other end of the school. Get my roll. Run to my roll call room.

By this time, the school is bustling with activity. There is a mass of students and teachers I have to weave through to get to where I need to go. Couples are hugging/kissing along the corridor. Students are sitting on the floor stretching their legs across the corridor. I carefully watch where I step, lest I trip on their outstretched legs. Boys are goofing around along the corridor, punching, kicking, flicking rubberbands at each other. Girls are huddling in their little cliques, catching up on gossip, complimenting each other on their makeup, newly dyed/straightened hair

“All of you, get to your roll call class now!”

“Yeah, Miss.”
Eyes rolled at me.

9:10am
Period One
Year 8 Geography
30 students - 23 boys, 7 girls

Students start streaming into class.

Student 1, “Miss, how was your weekend? Whaddya get up to?”

I ignore him.

Student 2, “G’day Miss! I forgot to bring my book today.”

Student 3 walks in drinking a bottle of juice.
“Emily, you know the school rules, you’re not allowed to drink that in class. Put it away.”

“Jordan, if you bounce that basketball one more time, I’m going to take it away.”

“James, I don’t want to see your iPod. Put it away now.”

10 minutes later…

I FINALLY manage to get them to settle down.

“All of you take a seat! Get your books out, get a pen out.”

While I’m giving instructions, I’m setting up the overhead projector with some notes for them to copy.

“I want all of you to get your pens out and start writing about East Timor. We’re comparing their education system with Australia.”

Student 4, “Miss I don’t have a pen.”
I take a pen from my pencil case, give it to him.

“Like I said, I want all of you to get your pens out and start writing about East Timor. We’re comparing their education system with Australia.”

Student 5 calls out, “Miss, why do we have to learn about East Timor? Why do I have to write about them? But I don’t want to learn about them!”

Student 6, “Miss, I don’t have a pen.”
I take a pen from my pencil case, give it to him.

Meanwhile, two boys at the back Jake and Sam start mucking around. They flick each other, shove and try to push each other off their chairs.

“Jake and Sam. I’m watching you. Stop what you’re doing. Take your books out. Take your pens out. Start writing.”

Student Sam, “Miss, I don’t have a pen. So I can’t write.”
I roll my eyes. Take a pen from my pencil case, give it to him.

Student 7, “Miss, what’s the date today?”

Student 8, “Miss, I don’t have a pen.”
I take a pen from my pencil case, give it to him.

It’s 9:30 and I still haven’t managed to teach anything. I sigh quietly to myself.

Eventually, the students slowly settle down, they copy what’s on the board, I explain a little about ‘Global Inequalities’. I talk about the difference in quality of life in a country like Australia and East Timor.

They work well for 5 minutes. Then the chatter starts again.

Cheeky student 9 asks, with a twinkle in his eye, “Miss, can I ask you a personal question?”

“No, you can’t.”

“I’m going to ask you any way. Miss, are you a virgin?”

The whole class bursts into laughter.

I roll my eyes, maintain a straight face and ignore him.

“Class, we are learning about Global Inequalities and doing a case study on East Timor. We are going to have a test in two weeks. I want to you study your notes.”

The lesson bumbles on.

10 minutes before the bell goes, at 9:50, I give out my reward stickers.

“Alright class, most of you are working well, I’m going to give out a sticker to the best student today.”

(I try to use a lot of positive encouragement and reinforcement in my class. I have a sticker chart at the front of the class. Student names are written on a big piece of cardboard. Stickers are stuck next to their name.)

Student 9, ”Miss, I think I deserve a sticker. I worked so well today!”
Student 10, “Oh Miss, I only have one sticker, I think I need one more.”
Student 11, “Miss, it’s not fair, I only have one sticker and Olivia has two. But I work so much better than her.”

This goes on for about 5 minutes.

“Okay class, I’ve decided. The student who deserves a sticker for his work today is……”
I drag the suspense to play it up. (Teaching involves a lot of clowning around.)

Student 12, “Me, Miss! Pick me!”
Student 13, “No way, look at how much better my work is than yours! You suck. Miss, pick me! Pick me!”

“Now the sticker goes to…. SPENCER!”

All the boys, “OHHHH, SPENCER. Spencer got a sticker, Spencer got a sticker.”
The banter carries on till the bell goes.

Bell goes. Students stream out of class.

I think to myself, first period over. Five more to go.

10am
Period two.

The day rolls along much like the first period. Some classes are better than others. In some classes, all the work gets done. In some, nothing much gets done. I do my best. I pat myself on the back for a good lesson, I don’t beat myself up over ‘bad’ lesson. That’s teaching. There are good days. There are bad days.

The thing I love about teaching is that it involves many skills. Your primary aim is to learn the subject matter, you need to come up with ideas on how to teach it - worksheets, questions, group work, games, powerpoint presentations. Equally important is to develop good people skills, relate well to students of all ages, work well with your colleagues, deal with the frustrations of bureaucracy. Teaching is essentially relational in nature. It’s all about relating well to people, be they your students or your colleagues.

Teaching is dynamic, it is diverse, it is multi-skilled. There is nothing quite like it.

I’m so glad I love what I do. It makes life a lot easier. But so help me God, if one more person says to me “Oh, you must enjoy all those holidays!” I swear, with what little strength my slight figure might have, I will kick that person squarely in their shins.

Sunday, February 22, 2009

God is God and I am not.

This post has been a long time in the making. It is a story about a series of coincidences that many might consider mere chance. But from the eyes of a humbled, saved sinner, it is a reminder of God’s sovereignty and providence.

This is my story.

When I completed my studies in October 2008, I was anxiously looking for a permanent teaching job to start in February 2009. I unfortunately missed a few potential jobs as I went back to Singapore in November for a three-week holiday. By the time I returned in early December, schools were closing for Christmas and no one was hiring. Panic set in when I realized I was going to be jobless for the whole of December and January. ‘Will I be able to pay rent? Will I go hungry? Will I ever find a job?’

For anyone who has been jobless before, you will know the emotional toll it takes on you. The insecurity you feel and the despair you experience as your self-esteem plummets. I sent out at least 20 applications to schools. I received at least 10 rejections and a handful of ‘we will call you for an interview in the new year’. It is an agonizing experience.

December passed rather slowly. Christmas came and went and the New Year arrived.

On the 2nd of January, a childcare agency called me out of the blue asking me if I wanted to do a one-week shift at a nearby childcare centre. I had previously worked for them but had not requested for any work recently. The call was completely unexpected and most definitely orchestrated by God.

I worked the one-week shift and after observing me for the first day, the childcare was so pleased with my work that they offered me casual work for the rest of January.

God answered prayers. He provided me with work for the whole of January.

In the last week of January, I received an email from Suzanne, a friend in Singapore. She used to be a student at UNSW in Sydney and attended a church close to university. While she was here, she developed a close friendship with her bible study leader and his wife. His wife Lucille works as a teacher at Eton Heights High School. She asked me to get in touch with Lucille to get advice on applying for high schools in Sydney and to talk about teaching in general. I called Lucille and it turned out that Eton Heights was looking for a Legal Studies teacher. I applied for the job, was invited for an interview, and three hours after the interview, they called saying I got the job.

God answered prayers. He provided me with work the moment my childcare job ended.

In February 2009 my current flatmate Mandy bought a one-bedroom apartment. That meant she was moving out of our house. I was in a dilemma. I couldn’t decide if I should move closer to Eton Heights or attempt to find someone to replace her. Moving closer to Eton Heights meant higher rent, but a shorter commute. It also meant arduously packing and moving and looking for somewhere suitable to stay. Something I wasn’t in the right frame of mind to do as I had just started a new job and was getting used to it.

Then randomly, one Sunday evening at church, a girl introduces Amy to me. Amy is from the UK and is doing a six (possibly 12) month stint in Sydney. Amy was looking for a place to stay. I asked her what her budget was for rent. The amount she quoted me was exactly half the rent of my current place.

Perfect.

That Sunday night, we decided that Amy would move into Mandy’s room.

God provides. He placed the right person at the right time, with the right amount of money for rent to move in.

That evening however, I had a mild panic attack. I realized that I had no furniture of my own, and when Mandy moves, she’ll take her furniture with her. That meant that Amy and I would be left without a washing machine, refrigerator, couches, television, dining table and microwave.

I prayed. I prayed that somehow, God would provide cheap second hand furniture that we could use.

Five minutes after I prayed, Mandy came home. She knocked on my door and said, “How cool is that? We managed to find Amy to move in! Oh, and another thing, I thought I might leave my washing machine here because my new place already has one. I won’t be needing the dining table either because my new place is too small for it. You guys can have the television too because I’m gonna buy a new plasma tv.”

Are you kidding me?

God answers prayers.

In November 2008, Shing, a good friend of mine asked me to ‘car sit’ for her for three months. She was going to be away for three months and wanted someone to drive her car. She trusted me with it. :)

Having Shing’s car was perfect as I began my new job at Eton Heights. The school is in a rather inaccessible part of town and hard to get to without a car. I decided that I was going to need a car of my own. Buying a car in Sydney was always something I intended to do since I arrived, but I never had any real need for it, until now.

Last weekend I bought a Mazda2 and the dealer told me that delivery would take three weeks. He couldn’t guarantee my car’s arrival before mid-March. They were out of stock and were waiting for a shipment to arrive from Japan.

I was slightly disappointed as I was hoping that I would have my car before I returned Shing’s. I didn’t want the hassle of commuting to Eton Heights. Doing so would mean waking up at 6am, walking 20 minutes to the train station, catching the train, and then a bus to the school.

I prayed. I prayed that somehow, God-willing, I would have a car to use after I returned Shing’s and before mine arrived.

On Friday, the Mazda dealer called with ‘extremely good news’. “Sarah!!! Your car arrived early in Sydney. We have it in storage, I’ll call you next week to arrange a pick up.”

Amazing.

God answered prayers yet again.

The day I intend to pick up my car next week, is the same day I pick Shing up from the airport.

The timing couldn’t be any better.

God has been so good to me. I can’t begin to express my thankfulness to Him. He has answered my every prayer, not with a ‘yes’ but with a ‘this, my child, is how I want your prayer answered.’

He has met my every need and blessed me with so much I don’t deserve. He is God, and I am not and with his help I will serve him all my days.

Monday, January 12, 2009

Marley and Me

Just the other day I caught ‘Marley and Me’ at the movies and thoroughly enjoyed it. It was refreshing, fun and heartwarming. Perfect for a Friday night. While the focus of the movie is the undisciplined dog (Marley) who wrecks havoc in his owners’ lives, there were many other lessons to glean from it.

It was, to me, a very ‘un-Hollywood’ romantic movie - there was no glamourization of sex, no swearing, no romantic unrealistic ideas of love and no cheating husband. The movie captured the realities of family life, balancing work and leisure and raising kids to the extent that half way through the movie, I thought to myself ‘more people should watch and understand this – maybe less marriages will fall apart’.

At one point, Jenny (the wife, played by Jennifer Aniston) breaks down, completely overwhelmed with exhaustion and the enormity of raising two kids, the uncontrollable dog and managing the household. She yells at her husband John (Owen Wilson) and demands that he gets rid of Marley. He obliges by taking Marley to his mate’s house.

Once she had calmed down, however, and thought things through, they talk about it and she says, “I made a choice. I made a choice and I’m going to stick with it. Getting rid of Marley isn’t the solution. Getting rid of you (John) isn’t the solution. We made a choice, and we’re going to do it together”.

At that point, I thought to myself – that’s exactly what commitment is! They made a choice. And they’re making a choice to stick with it.

John’s hedonistic friend, Sebastian, plays the cynic who thinks John is better off leaving his wife.

“Is there no fight big enough that you will leave? No depression intense enough? No anger or emotion antagonistic enough that you will say bye to it all?” he asks John.

To which John replies, “No, no, no! So we had a fight. So what? I still love her. I love her and we’ll work it out.”

Brilliant!
He’s committed, faithful and willing to work it out.

If only more people lived their lives like that. Divorce rates might actually fall.

When Jenny has her second child she chooses to be a stay home mom. She couldn’t do both her job and be a mom well and says she’d rather choose her family over work. Now I’m not saying that being a stay home mom is the only way to raise children. What I find more important is her willingness and desire to make that selfless sacrifice to put her family first; at the expense of a job she loved so much. She understood that having kids meant putting their needs above her own.

I wish more parents understood that. Maybe there’d be less troubled kids at schools.

Marley and Me is the second good movie I’ve seen this year. In Good Company was the other. In that movie, Dennis Quaid’s character says on commitment (excuse the crassness) “you find a good fox to share your life in the foxhole. And when you’re outside the foxhole, you keep your dick in your pants.”

A tad crude, but oh so true!

I wish they’d make more movies like Marley and Me. It was wholesome, entertaining and reflected good values. Pop culture would do well with more of that.